I’m listening to Spring Awakening and drinking wine. So OBVIOUSLY my emotions are all over the place.
But since taking this apprenticeship at Hartford Stage I have been met with the biggest conflicts of love.
I love painting and more than anything else I want to make a career out of it and I love the work that I am doing here, but I met two people while going to school that have brought out a part of me that I never saw before. Colleen and Joshua. If I could have a friend who makes me feel and act more real than Colleen does, they are probably a unicorn or a human-puppy half breed. That shit doesn’t exist. And Joshua is the nicest boy I’ve ever met. We’re more alike thank I like to admit. He’s awkward and gets nerdy for architecture and I feel like my actual self around him.
So here are my two favourite people in the world and I made the conscious choice to leave them for this job that barely pays, but could help me with my career as a scenic artist.
Now I am feeling my relationship with Joshua deteriorating as we can only see each other on weekends and the pressure of each day together to be perfect makes time worse. And I have to do this for another 8 months. Maybe more if I do summerstock. Ballsacks.
And I miss my wife, but she keeps me sane, even from so far away.
So I miss the two of them, and I’m not ready to give up. Damnit life. You keep getting more difficult.